We are going to start this article with a BANG!
Sit on this quote for a minute or two:
“Until you make the unconscious conscious it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
Is your unconscious directing your life?
Most likely, yes.
But, the degree to which your unconscious is directing your life is dependent upon the level of your self-awareness.
Let me give you a general example of where I have seen this quote play out in the lives of others.
Have you ever seen a situation where someone started dating or even married someone that was a negative influence on them, and then hear them say that it was “meant to be?”
Why did they do that?
Often in these circumstances, the individual had some unmet emotional needs that were not being met (perhaps because parents or friends weren’t as available or loving as they should have been or because of loneliness). And because the individual was not fully conscious of these emotional needs, they were unwilling to see the negative influence the other person was having on them, leading them to feel that the meeting of their unconscious emotional needs was a signal of “fate.”
But, it isn’t always this extreme
Consider the following examples:
- How do you see challenges and failures? As things to avoid, or things to learn from?
- How do you see feedback? As a personal attack, or as something to grow from?
- How do you see risk? As something to avoid, or as something necessary for reaching your goals?
- How do you see others? As instruments to meet your needs, or as people with their own unique needs?
Each of these represents different mindsets that we can have. It is these mindsets that cause people to see the same things, but interpret them differently.
(If you want to learn more about these different mindsets, see this article: What are the Four Mindsets Necessary for Success?)
What is significant about this is that how we see and interpret our world, shapes how effectively we operate in our world.
But unfortunately, most people are not conscious of their mindsets, which means that they are not conscious of what is driving how they operate. So, when something happens as a result of their efforts, for either the positive or the negative, they are left to believe that it is “fate.”
Our mindsets drive our unconscious processing
The reality is that 95% of our thinking, feeling, judging, and acting is driven by our unconscious automatic processing.
What drives much of that unconscious automatic processing? Our mindsets.
Let me give you a personal example to demonstrate this.
My Freshman Year
When I started college, I was thinking I wanted to become a medical doctor. So, during my first semester I took the “weeder” chemistry class for pre-med students.
That semester, even though I passed, I got the lowest grade I ever received.
After that semester, I was confronted with a question: Was this the right major for me?
While I thought I was navigating a response to that question in a very conscious way, I now look back and see that my unconscious was directing my life and I was calling it fate.
You see, I had a fixed mindset. This led me to want to avoid challenges. So, when I asked myself the question: “Is pre-med the right route for me?” My unconscious mindset saw my situation as a scary challenge and caused me to answer “no.” So, I promptly switched my major.
If I had a growth mindset, I would have been more inclined to see my situation as a challenge and something to learn from. I probably would have doubled down on my study habits and fought to do better the next semester.
Instead, I essentially gave up, and told myself that becoming a medical doctor “wasn’t meant to be.”
Is this making sense?
Whether you are conscious of our mindsets or not, they are dictating the direction and success of your life. And, if you are not willing to dive in and explore your mindsets, you will be at the mercy of your mindsets, and wherever you end up, you will call it “fate.”
But, this doesn’t have to be. You can awaken to your mindsets. As you do so, you will make the unconscious conscious, putting you in a position of creating your future, not letting it happen to you and calling it “fate.”
To help you become conscious of your mindsets, let me invite you to take my FREE personal mindset assessment. After taking it, you will get an individualized and comprehensive report identifying the quality of your mindsets across four different sets of mindsets that have been proven to influence one’s success. This is the most research-backed and comprehensive mindset assessment to date.
Make your unconscious conscious: