We have two sides of ourselves:
- Our DOING Side – Our ability to do things (i.e., our level of talent, knowledge, skills, and abilities)
- Our BEING Side – Our ability to process and navigate the challenges of our life and world (i.e., the degree to which our internal operating system is wired for value creation versus self-protection)
Most people:
- Are aware of their DOING Side and know how to improve along their DOING Side
- Are unaware of their BEING Side and do not know how to improve along their BEING Side
If we had to choose which of these two sides to focus on for our development, we would get more out of our investment if we focused on the BEING Side than the DOING Side. This is because:
- It is one thing to know how to do something, but another thing to know when to appropriately do that thing
- The higher we go on our BEING Side, the more we get out of our DOING Side abilities
- Improving on our DOING Side doesn’t necessarily change who we are at our core, but improving on our BEING Side helps us become better people, parents, leaders, followers, friends, etc.
Some Things You Can Do to Upgrade Your BEING
If you are wanting to elevate along your BEING Side and want to fundamentally and transformationally become better, there are a lot of different things that you can do. Regardless of what we do, elevating along our BEING Side requires that we do things that upgrade ourselves such that our internal operating system becomes more wired for value creation and less wired for self-protection.
Some of these things include:
- Meditating with a focus of refining your body’s nervous system to become more present and stable
- Journaling in a manner that helps you rewire your mind
- Having discussions that expand your perspective
- Awakening to the quality of your mindsets and working to develop more value creating mindsets
- Engaging in therapy to expand your window of tolerance, heal from past trauma, and improve your brain functionality
The Most Important Thing You Need to Do to Upgrade Your BEING
While all of these approaches can and will be beneficial to you, there is one thing that absolutely needs to happen for you to make significant improvement in your BEING Side.
That one thing is: Awakening to your origin story for your self-protection.
Let’s be honest, we all have self-protective wiring and tendencies that are baked into our internal operating system (check out this article for a great example of this). These self-protective tendencies serve us by helping stay safe and comfortable. Thus, they generally feel right, good, and justifiable. But, they also likely hold us back from being our best self.
If we ever want to fully rise above our self-protection and become the best version of ourselves, we are going to have to awaken to where that self-protection comes from.
Our self-protection can come from:
- A recent experience
- How I am socially/formally incentivized within my culture (neighborhood, organization, state, club, family, etc)
- Past experiences
- Childhood trauma
- Neurodivergencies
- Generational trauma
Regardless, you need to connect with where your self-protective wiring and tendencies come from. This is because, as you can probably sense, depending on the origin, different development and healing efforts (along with the frequency and depth of such efforts) need to be engaged in.
This leaves us with some questions I invite you to explore:
- How aware are you of your self-protective wiring and tendencies?
- What fears hold you back from being more of the person you desire to be?
- Do you know the origin story for your self-protective wiring, tendencies, and fears?
If you would like to explore programming for yourself or leaders/employees in your organization for awakening to the origin stories of self-protection, please let me know.
2 Responses
This material is truly powerful and transformative. As we reflect on enhancing our BEING side, I’m curious if there is any research or insights suggesting that Quadrant 1 (top left, low DOING/high BEING) may not be easily achievable. Could it be possible that in order to upgrade our BEING side, we also need to upgrade our DOING side? Just a thought to consider.
I think there is something to what you are saying. I think the 2×2 is a helpful framework, but I do believe that nuances like that may exist.
But, let me throw out an example of someone who I think operated in Low Doing/High Being: Nelson Mandela. This isn’t to say he didn’t have DOING Side abilities, but his leadership and influence was based much more strongly on his BEING Side than his DOING Side.